Faith Instead of Fear

Blessings

I sat across from my wife on our sectional sofa. She held our newborn son gently on her chest. His eyes were closed and cheeks smushed in a milk-induced stupor.

Tears streamed slowly down her cheeks as she started to speak, “I just don’t know what to do. I’m stressed about the baby. I’m stressed about this virus. It all seems too much right now.”

She had a point.

It had been a lot of “goings-on” in our little slice of the world. 

Just three days ago, we sat on the same couch discussing our next steps. Coronavirus looked like a serious problem that was only getting worse, and we needed a plan for ensuring a safe delivery and hospital stay for our newest family member.

That conversation resulted in a call to her OB to discuss our options. I explained to him that the total number of COVID-19 cases in the US had recently doubled over the weekend. If it continued to expand at this rate, there could be 60,000 cases by next week – our scheduled due date.

That talk with the doctor resulted in an unplanned appointment at his office which ended with a trip to the hospital to induce labor. 

My wife delivered our healthy baby boy that night. Coincidentally, that was also the night the hospital saw its first Covid-19 patient admitted to the same floor as the labor and delivery unit.

Preparations

The next morning, in light of our newest “neighbor”, we thought about checking ourselves out early. But after a conversation with the pediatrician, the fear of having to come back unexpectedly through the ER convinced us to stay the prescribed 24 hours and hope for the best.

That’s not to say we did nothing to mitigate the risk…

On the contrary, our hands cracked and bled from all the hand sanitizer and soap. 

Anything that touched the hospital floor was thrown away – socks, Nalgene water bottles, shirts… anything. If it touched the floor, it was in the trash. Period.  

When my sister-in-law brought our niece by to drop off flowers for the baby, I met them in the parking lot. I took the flowers, thanked my niece profusely, walked back inside and threw them away.

No one was allowed to come inside the hospital. Not our parents. Not our siblings. No one. If we could have limited the nursing staff, we would have done that too.

Once we were finally discharged, I had my mother go through our entire house with a bottle of Lysol and disinfect every flat surface and toy she could find.

Riding Out the Storm

Now, there was nothing left to do but hunker down, wait, and watch as the worldwide Covid-19 case count grew exponentially. 

Social media, a once easy way to mindlessly kill the hours, had turned into a 24/7 siren announcing our impending doom.

Science and government – the great pillars of hope in the 21^st century – struggled to make sense of the crisis. Could chloroquine cure the disease? When would a vaccine be ready? Was the nation prepared with enough medical supplies to withstand the pending surge?

Each headline seemed more sensational than the one before. Instead of communicating a sense of professionalism and competence, each story only served to demonstrate our still vast ignorance on the size and scope of the disease.

There were far too many questions and not nearly enough answers. It was hard to tell fact from opinion as expert after expert seemed to give contradicting answers to the same questions.

All of this coupled with the post-partum challenges and sleep deprivation that naturally follow any pregnancy had finally become too much for my wife to bear. The weight of it all had finally been enough to release the tears that she had worked so hard to hold back. 

With weary, tear-filled eyes she continued to cry, “I just don’t know what to do. I’ve prayed about it. I’ve tried not to think about it, but I just can’t get away from the thought of this virus.”

Silence.

If she was looking to me for answers, she was looking in the wrong place. I had nothing. I was as clueless as everyone else.

Faith Instead of Fear

When I finally spoke, I tried to ensure my tone masked my own anxiety, “You know. When I feel overwhelmed, I like to recite the 23^rd Psalm. Do you remember that one?” I asked.

“Kinda”, she replied.

I took this as my cue, “Oh”, I said, “you remember that one. It starts with “The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want.”

With this little reminder, she immediately began to recite the rest with me.

"He leadeth me beside the still waters. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I will fear no evil; For thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a place before me in the presence of mine enemies. Thou annointest my head with oil. My cup runneth over. Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever!"

As I looked into her pained eyes, I continued to offer comfort, “These are times for faith instead of fear, darling. We have to trust in God’s divine plan. We have to trust that He meant what He said when He told us, “For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” This is all we can do. We have to make a conscious decision to choose faith instead of fear.”

“You’re right”, she said. “But it’s so hard. I pray about it, and yet I still worry about it.”

“Can you imagine what it must be like for those without faith?”, I asked her. “Can you imagine what it’s like to put all of your hope into these scientists and government officials that can’t seem to figure out how to use a bedpan much less stop a worldwide pandemic? That must be horrible.”

She smiled, “I guess you’re right. At least we have our faith”

Epilogue

As the world continues to reel from the coronavirus pandemic, my wife and I continue to recite the 23^rd Psalm. Each recitation is as comforting as the last.

God is our shepherd, and we will not go without. He will see to our needs.

Even when I think about the possibility of myself or someone I love suffering with this awful disease, I find it comforting that, in the midst of our suffering, God holds us in His hands, never forsaking us. 

The belief that, for reasons that I’ll never fully understand, everything conforms to His divine plan brings a sense of peace in the midst of chaos. It brings faith instead of fear. 

As Christians, it is our duty to offer this hope to the masses. It is our responsibility to share the good news, to offer folks faith instead of fear, peace instead of chaos. To do otherwise is to forsake our fellow man in this, their time of need.

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Matthew 6:33-34 NIV

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